Taking Ayahuasca Deep in the Costa Rican Jungle
Recapping 2022, the wildest year yet for Rare Americans, through the eyes of Jamesy Boy himself
It’s 2023 already? Wild. It’s fun to look back on a year and see everything you did. That’s what’s so great about iPhones, the notes and photos apps where you can re-live your year. I took a ride down the last 12 months for my own reflection and figured I would let you guys into it as well. Sometimes I give myself no credit for anything, I’m very much a “whats up next?” type of person, but that’s something I’m working on. Having gratitude for myself, being proud of what I’ve accomplished, and celebrating the little wins. So here’s a look back at 2022.
A Brand New Year - Part 9 - November/December 2022
READ THE FULL SERIES
NOVEMBER
My week long retreat starting at the beginning of November. This is a picture of me during the first “flower ceremony”, about 3 hours before the first ayahuasca ceremony. It’s meant to shield you with positive energy.
It’s important to set an intention for your journey. What are you seeking guidance on? What are the questions you need answers for? This is a very private journey for everyone. They say its like doing 10 years of therapy in one week. For me, I’ve had a tough time with identity. I’ve talked about imposter syndrome before, feeling like a fraud, like I don’t belong as an artist. I also come from a family of very smart people and I’ve had a tough time understanding where I fit in the puzzle.
I had also been hanging on to past versions of myself and decisions I’ve made that I’m not thrilled with. A constant battle of this person I don’t want to be, and the compulsion to give in to his desires. I was experiencing a lot of confusion, discontent, and unhappiness. I was starting to feel very “on edge” and getting snappy in my relationships.
I wanted answers about who I am and where I fit in the world I’m a part of. I wanted to start feeling free of anxiety. I wanted to free of the weight of valuing others opinions over my own.
I didn’t know what was waiting for me on the other side, but I was going into this experience with an open mind and open heart. You had to cleanse yourself for 2 weeks prior to the retreat. That meant no alcohol, coffee, spicy foods, pork or red meat, and limited sugar.
Flower ceremony, 3 hours prior to night 1
This is the “Maloca” where all the ceremonies are held. This is where the self work and healing is done. It’s massive and stunning, the most beautiful room I’ve ever been in. Everything is made from wood. It just feels like a safe and open space.
These are my peers, and now friends, who I went through the experience with. I don’t think I’ve ever felt compassion for people like I did for these guys. Everyone was there to find answers and heal from their respective challenges. We all supported one another and listened to each others stories. We were encouraged not to use our phones so I have very limited content from this week, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
I pulled this from the internet to give you an idea of how the space is laid out. Everyone gets their own mattress with a pillow, blanket, and bucket. Purging is part of the process so I was prepared for it. It’s taught by the maestro’s that purging is the body and minds way of releasing toxic energy that your body needs to expose of. Many people purged, but I didn’t. Not once during any of the 3 ceremonies.
Yoga started in the Maloca at 630pm. It was restorative yoga meant to stretch the body, get into the breath, and calm the mind. Around 730 the maestro’s arrive and this when everyone must be quiet. The medicine is prepared. Ayahuasca is essentially a stew made of water, bark, and leaves from a plant that calls the Amazon home. It is reduced for hours and hours, and creates a molasses type of consistency. I’m not going to lie, it tastes really horrible. One by one we were called up by the maestro to drink. When the last person has drunk, the lights go out and the ceremony begins.
I didn’t know how long it would take to hit me, so the first 30 minutes was filled with anticipation. I was looking around, trying to see if the moon looked different or anything. I had done mushrooms before, as well as LCD, so I was familiar with psychedelics and the visual effect they create in the body. However, I laid there for quite some time in silence and the medicine hadn’t hit me. A few people purged so I knew it was taking hold of them, but I laid there sober. The maestro’s are in charge of leading the ceremony. They navigate the energy in the room. In case you were wondering, they also drink the ayahuasca.
After a good amount of time, what seemed like 30 or 45 minutes, I heard the most beautiful sound. Maestro Marina’s angelic voice began singing. The ceremony was officially opening. The whole ceremony is guided by the maestro’s singing of “icaros”, which are indigenous songs that date back 1000 years. It is hard to explain so I thought a sample from YouTube would be helpful to give perspective:
Each maestro sings to each person, so you will experience two songs dedicated to “healing” you. They literally come 3 feet in front of your mattress, kneel down on a pillow, and sing right at you, targeting your traumas. Each song lasts between 5 and 10 minutes, depending on what they feel you need. The ceremony ends when everyone has been sung to by each maestro.
The medicine hadn’t fully hit me when maestro Marina reached my mat. But boy oh boy, when she started singing to me everything changed. The only way I can describe it is the scene in Harry Potter when Harry and Voldemorts wands connect for the first time. I could feel and see the energy created by her voice singing to me in this void. It was the closest thing to magic I have ever experienced. This is when my journey began. Before this experience I was not spiritual at all. I was very analytical and rational. If you started talking to me about “energies” I would have said you were full of shit and it was all hocus focus. I am a full believer in the power of energy now, I think it is the guiding light that shapes who we are.
The medicine creates both visual and mental effects. Visually, it’s extremely vibrant and colourful. You see many shapes and patterns. Because the medicine is so rooted in nature, your journey may also be inspired by the setting of the jungle, which mine did.
When it comes to the mental component, my mind was ping ponging through every aspect of my life. Individual people, family members, my past, present, and future self. It’s like I saw a whole movie of my life play out in one night. It was very eye opening and I came away with a much stronger sense of identity and purpose, which is something I was seeking as stated earlier in my intentions.
I realized my purpose is to help as many kids around the world as I possibly can through Rare Americans. In order to do so, I have to be the most raw and vulnerable of anyone. I have to be the chief weirdo. I have to fully embrace who I am, quirks and all, and put that on display for you guys. Because you need someone to show you it’s okay to not feel okay. It’s okay to not know who you are yet, or where you are going in life. We are all on our own journeys, and each one presents unique challenges.
I also learned how much I value the important relationships in my life and that I need to nurture those more. I had been stewing on resentments. I learned I need to be open and raw, to communicate how I feel so my relationships can be honest. This is a long process, not something that happens overnight, but at least I had a road map.
I also learned that I really want a family of my own in the not-so-distant future. Overall, my first night was profound. But I knew it was probably too good to be true.
Night 2 was a whole different ball game. I had way less energy the second day because I was up until 5am the previous night, basking in the euphoria of my “downloads” - the term used for key takeaways from your journey. We were encouraged to go deeper on night 2, to take double the dose of medicine up front. I was totally game. I wanted everything I could get out of this experience. I think I knew in my gut there was a lot of work left to do, and that ceremony 2 could potentially present the darkness in my life. Maybe it was a self-fulfilling prophecy or just want I actually needed.
The medicine hit me straight away, within 10 minutes, before the maestro’s started singing. It was the closest I got to purging of the 3 nights. I knew right away I was in for a ride. One then they teach you prior to night 1 is the key skill of concentration. You must guide your mind through the journey when it gets challenging. I am very good at this. I know I can control my mind through pain and discomfort, like I’ve had to do through years of brutally challenging athletics.
It started with intense visuals. The closest I can say is it’s like going to Meow Wolf (the venue from the Fall USA tour) in your brain. One room to another, one crazy visual to the next on a rollercoaster that doesn’t have an end in sight.
I’m not going to lie, it was a tough night. I was sweating profusely and all the demons in my life came to the service, one by one. That compulsive person egged on by desires that I mentioned earlier got to live through all the fucked up experiences he’d conjured up in his brain over the years. He also got to see the outcome of those decisions. It was some freaky shit man. I was putting my fingers in my mouth, I was running my hands through my hair, I was really deep in it.
It sounds miserable. Who the hell would want to go through this, and do it willingly? But I believe I had to go through this night to get a hold of my demons, to understand them, to conquer them. I had a part of my life that I needed to retire and this experience, albeit a really challenging one, allowed me to park this part of myself and leave it in the past. It almost blossomed me into a new phase of my life.
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This is the flower ceremony on the last day. The smile on my face is so damn genuine. I felt lighter, happier. Mother ayahuasca taught me to love myself more and appreciate what I have in my life, especially my friends and family. It was a profoundly life changing experience and I’m not even touching the surface here because its not only hard to put into words, but also a conversation better served in person. If you ever see me around, or at a show, ask me about it and I’ll share.
People have asked if I plan on doing it again. My perspective is that Mother Ayahuasca is one of life’s greatest tools. If she calls to you, then you should welcome her with open arms. The journey can help re-jig your perspective. It can help you find direction. If I find myself in a place where I clarity isn’t certain, I would absolutely do it again. I am the same person I was, just with “new eyes” which I used for the name of a new song.
I want to end this by saying that the retreat is just the beginning. Integrating the lessons learned into your life is when the real work begins. In order to be the version of yourself you desire, you have to make changes in your life and form new habits, or else you’ll just revert to the person you didn’t want to be in the first place.
Maestro Theo and Marina from Peru
Some of the delicious food we ate. It was all extremely “clean” eating. Minimal salt, no sugar, no dairy, no alcohol or coffee, no spice. Tons of fresh herbs for flavour.
A view from the dining area at Soltara
Crew picture
The final goodbye! One of the best weeks of my life
After the retreat finished, I met Michele. She had come down on her own and did a 3 day scuba diving course. I already have my open water + advanced, and we had scuba plans for our trip so she had to do it on her own. I’m really proud of her because she’s never travelled alone, let alone to go scuba diving in the open ocean! It was so good to see her. A big revelation on my journey is just how much I appreciate and value our relationship.
La Leona Waterfall
The next day we hopped on a TINY plane headed south to Drake Bay, which sits alongside Corcovado National Park. National geographic calls it “the most biodiverse place on earth”. We stayed at an adventure lodge, essentially a hotel in the jungle that caters to people looking for nature excursions. We scuba dived, hiked Corcovado, went deep sea fishing, and did a mangrove tour where we saw a ton of crocodiles, sloths, snakes, and birds.
Plane heading to Drake Bay in a huge storm! This was scary as fuck.
This was the journey to get to our hotel!! It was in the middle of a tropical storm. You can only reach the hotel by boat.
Made sure to have my RA swag for our hike through Corcovado National Park. It was full pants, socks, shoes, and long sleeve in case of bugs or snakes.
It was a really wet hike, but super fun. Unfortunately we didn’t see any snakes OR the illusive Jaguar. This is the biggest cat in the americas, and third largest in the world behind tigers and lions. Guides work their whole careers to spot a Jaguar but they see and hear you hundreds of feet before you see them so its incredibly rare.
I caught some Tuna and filleted ‘em myself! We ate this as sushi, it was delicious.
You don’t want to mess with this guy…
Iguanas, Parrots, and even a Boa in the trees
We flew from Costa Rica to Mexico to meet my parents. From San Jose it’s only a 2h flight to Cancun. I hadn’t had quality parent time in several months and man was it awesome. My parents are my biggest supporters and always have been. I owe so much to them. The raised us to think differently, to question things, to form our own opinions about the world. As a kid we’d take family vacations on the first day that school started. My dad’s rationale was it was much cheaper to travel then, and where were you going to learn more? In a textbook or actually being somewhere experiencing it first hand? I really love that he instilled that in us and I’m sure I’ll do the same with my kids. We spent a week going for walks, playing some golf, and talking over dinner. It was the best vacation I’ve had in the last several years.
DECEMBER
BACK TO WORK! I was excited to get back and see the guys. I wanted to use the last couple weeks before Christmas to plan a really strong 2023. We had some business affairs to clean up, such as our accounting, and forecasting for next year. I set some lofty goals for the team, but I think we can accomplish them. We are DIY - no one tells us what to do. We succeed or fail by our own volition.
We had one final drop to launch before Christmas. That was the Christmas collection. It had a few products we’ve never tried before so there was some risk involved. Hockey jerseys, blankets, and even a puzzle. We don’t print on demand, we order inventory that is housed at our fulfilment centre until it’s sold. No one wants to sit on inventory so if something doesn’t sell, thats our money sitting on the shelves. As always, the RA crew came through and made this a successful launch. The blankets sold out, jerseys almost sold out, and we have a few more puzzles left!
We have also been looking for a new studio. Our team is growing and we don’t have enough space anymore. I looked all over Vancouver for a place we can both live and work. We found a great spot in West Vancouver. We are making the move in February, and the work space will be ready later next year as we have to do a few renovations in order to soundproof the studio so we can both record and practice music there. I have lived downtown for 10 years so I’m really excited for a new chapter in the suburbs!
I had a couple more trips before I could relax for Christmas. The first was LA for 24 hours. We made a contact who used to run Cartoon Network. We met him for lunch to pick his brain about animation and the direction of our studio. I went shopping, like my coat?!
This is Eric, he is RA’s manager and has largely been behind the scenes. He is now a full time member of the team and works in Vancouver 4 days a week. Maybe I’ll do a separate post about him in more detail, but he is going to be a huge part of our growth next year. He met Jared and I in LA for the meeting, and we managed to sneak in a Lakers game as well.
From LA I flew to Toronto the next week. I had a year end meeting with the team at Crooked City Studios. It’s important to have these meetings to reflect on the past year, and make goals and business plans for the next year. I’m really excited for you guys to see what we have been working on. They are really special projects. We ended the week with a team Christmas Party. We went to Medieval Times. If you haven’t heard of it…. Just look it up yourself lol.
Michele and I entered a doubles squash tournament. If you didn’t know, Michele used to be a top 100 squash player in the world. Her and I have some epic battles. We ended up winning the consolations.
Lastly, for the first time in like 3 years, my whole family spent Christmas together in Palm Springs. It was a blast. My dad’s famous dish is Gumbo, so we even surprised him with his own brand!!! Lol
2022 Summary:
-70+ cities visited
-15 countries
-3 Tours
-1st Screenplay
-1 Album Recording
-1 Album Release
-A life changing experience
And a whole lotta gratitude! It’s going to be tough to top 2022, but I welcome 2023 with open arms, let’s go!
Thanks for reading this whole series. If you have enjoyed this type of behind the scenes stuff, leave a comment and let us know!
Looks very enjoyable:)
This is awesome. I really appreciate how open you are to being 'weird' with us. Speaking of which, I have a pretty special moment from the last tour, how can I send y'all the video???